A religious conversion, for all the hullabaloo around it, is nothing more than changing a service provider, like changing your mobile carrier. And so it is only fair that they compete just as hard for our business as these companies do. And if we are not happy with their service, we should be able to switch from one to another.
Now many religions spend billions on promoting (marketing) their religions and luring people to come to their fold. They deploy all the classical marketing tricks - word of mouth, material inducements, even going as far as promising a better after-life (something that no other service/product industry does today). With all due respect though I'd submit that the religion marketing has fallen behind the curve. What they need is a focused hiring effort of the best and brightest MBAs who can then design marketing promos.Being a proud MBA myself, I couldn't resist the urge to suggest a few ideas but I am sure there are far more and far better ones:
Creamy Caste - Feel good about yourself immediately and get the right to look down upon hundreds of millions of people simply by joining us right at the top of our vicious caste system.
Sainthood Surprise - Get sainthood in five years flat (fast track available for enough dough). May require a trip and short stay in some third world country, and some imbeciles who can attest to the magical powers you obviously possess, like healing cancer with your mere touch.
V for Virgins - 72 of them when you join us and then kill some infidels. Especially targeted towards young college grads having a tough time getting a date. Special promo season could be just after Valentines Day.
Bring Your Own God - Not happy with your current God. Well, join us to choose a God of your own from the existing 330 million we have. You can even create your own. More the merrier - we are good in numbers.
One is not enough - Not happy with just one wife? We understand your medieval tendencies and especially designed our religion for you where you can come and enjoy as many wives as you want. Fine print - you may have to leave your country and relocate. We are working tirelessly to make polygamy a universal rule and are currently fighting our opponents around the world.
Pedophile's paradise - We understand your love for children and have special jobs designed just for you. You can brainwash the parents, have their children and be respected all at the same time. Deal?
An open market for religions would also bring out some much needed competitive intelligence. Religions can hire investigative journalists who can shine light on what promises are actually being fulfilled and what are simply hogwash. Imagine a headline stating "9/11 attackers denied their virgins - God ruled that the killings were haraam" or "A convert promised moksha re-born with village buffoons as parents, God ruled he must study Science in this life to improve his chances". Oh the possibilities are limitless, just like our universe.
Like I have said before, I am all for conversions. In fact, just like I can chose either Pepsi or Coke or both depending on my mood, I should be able to change and chose my religion based on what's best suited for the moment - need to eat beef for lunch, become a Muslim; want that bacon for breakfast, embrace Christianity. As a deeply religious man who never does things proscribed by his religion of the moment, my moksha, with a place in all heavens and with all their accouterments seems certain. The worst that can happen is I might be asked to leave one heaven for the next from time to time - seems like a good deal, it will keep away the boredom. Wanna join my Just in Time Religion?
Now many religions spend billions on promoting (marketing) their religions and luring people to come to their fold. They deploy all the classical marketing tricks - word of mouth, material inducements, even going as far as promising a better after-life (something that no other service/product industry does today). With all due respect though I'd submit that the religion marketing has fallen behind the curve. What they need is a focused hiring effort of the best and brightest MBAs who can then design marketing promos.Being a proud MBA myself, I couldn't resist the urge to suggest a few ideas but I am sure there are far more and far better ones:
Creamy Caste - Feel good about yourself immediately and get the right to look down upon hundreds of millions of people simply by joining us right at the top of our vicious caste system.
Sainthood Surprise - Get sainthood in five years flat (fast track available for enough dough). May require a trip and short stay in some third world country, and some imbeciles who can attest to the magical powers you obviously possess, like healing cancer with your mere touch.
V for Virgins - 72 of them when you join us and then kill some infidels. Especially targeted towards young college grads having a tough time getting a date. Special promo season could be just after Valentines Day.
Bring Your Own God - Not happy with your current God. Well, join us to choose a God of your own from the existing 330 million we have. You can even create your own. More the merrier - we are good in numbers.
Pedophile's paradise - We understand your love for children and have special jobs designed just for you. You can brainwash the parents, have their children and be respected all at the same time. Deal?
An open market for religions would also bring out some much needed competitive intelligence. Religions can hire investigative journalists who can shine light on what promises are actually being fulfilled and what are simply hogwash. Imagine a headline stating "9/11 attackers denied their virgins - God ruled that the killings were haraam" or "A convert promised moksha re-born with village buffoons as parents, God ruled he must study Science in this life to improve his chances". Oh the possibilities are limitless, just like our universe.
Like I have said before, I am all for conversions. In fact, just like I can chose either Pepsi or Coke or both depending on my mood, I should be able to change and chose my religion based on what's best suited for the moment - need to eat beef for lunch, become a Muslim; want that bacon for breakfast, embrace Christianity. As a deeply religious man who never does things proscribed by his religion of the moment, my moksha, with a place in all heavens and with all their accouterments seems certain. The worst that can happen is I might be asked to leave one heaven for the next from time to time - seems like a good deal, it will keep away the boredom. Wanna join my Just in Time Religion?
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